Play It Cool After A First Date

Found on http://manofthehouse.com/relationships/single-divorced/call-girl-after-date on April 09, 2011, By P.K. Lassiter

You’ve checked the clock three times in the last six minutes. No--make that four times now. It’s still 11:28 PM and nothing is going to change that. The text or call or email or any other form of contact, electronic or otherwise, is just not going to happen tonight.

We’ve all been there. Watching the water, waiting for it to boil. Except now the water is the woman you really like, and you can’t turn up the burner. The waiting game royally sucks. 

But I've found that you really don’t have to play it.

Step 1: Watch What You Say

If you’ve sent a message or left a voice mail or emailed her, and you are expecting some type of answer, you’re already dead in the water (and this pot is boiling). If you were in the relationship you wouldn’t be playing the waiting game…so you’re clearly reaching out, blanketed by anticipation.

Don’t. Fight the urge. Keep it light. You will know when the time has come to take the next step, and I am always an advocate of doing that in person. So don’t load up on the bullet points, selling yourself as if you’re in a job interview. Don’t be disingenuous. Don’t throw bouquets into a tree grinder. Just try a simple hello. It works.

Step 2: Don’t Overreact

So you’ve said hello. Now you’re playing again. Soon enough the suspense will end. You’ll hear back. If you don’t, try again in a few days. But when you do hear from her you should have an idea about how she feels about you. And if that response isn’t exactly what you’re looking for (there’s that boiling water again) do not overreact. Deleting her number and vowing never to contact her again doesn’t do you a bit of good--unless that's what she asks you to do. If that’s the case, see step one.

Don’t read too much into it. If it’s just a hello back, this may not be the time to ask her to marry you. And if the response is really good, by all means don’t plan a date via text message. Pick up the phone. It was invented for talking--before anybody thought about the concept of texting.

Step 3: You Win Some, You Lose Some

If you’ve shaken the 8-ball of this game and all signs point to yes, then you’re well on your way. But if you keep getting the “ask again later” or “cannot determine now” in the little window, it may be time to walk away. Do it gracefully, with as little fanfare as possible. You don’t need proclamations about your unbelievably busy schedule, your huge trip to Rio or your immersion in a project to save the indigenous Spider monkeys of Costa Rica. Just walk away silently and see what happens. There is a game to this, and you might be able to turn some of those losses into wins.

So stop checking the clock. Stop watching the water. It will boil soon enough. And when it does, make sure you’re properly equipped to handle it. The waiting game sucks. But you don’t have to play it to win. Careful…it’s hot in there.